From Silence to Solidarity: How to THINK Your Way to Courageous Action
In my first years of teaching, I remember sitting in a grade-level team meeting where we were supposed to be calibrating student essays for the fall diagnostic writing sample. This exercise was designed to assess students' baseline skill sets and determine ways we could scaffold writing instruction to support all students. As we sorted through the anonymous papers, a pattern emerged—nearly a third of the samples showed significant struggles with the same writing concepts. Before we could discuss instructional practices, the most experienced teacher on the team said, "Let's be realistic here. A third of these kids probably won't even make it to graduation. I think we all know who we’re talking about. We can spend all day talking about interventions, but shouldn't we focus our energy on the students who actually show up and do the work?" No one said anything in response.
I had a cacophony of noise blaring in my head, shouting at me to say something, to question what my colleague meant by his statement. Instead, I sat silent. I knew what my colleague was saying was wrong, but lacked the courage to bridge that insight into action.
This is what I call the insight-action gap (what others call the knowing-doing gap)—that space between our transformative insights and what needs to follow. It's in this gap where courage and leadership are most needed and often most absent.
Clean or Dirty: Working With the Discomfort that Comes with Courage
Recently, I've been re-reading the work of Dr. Resmaa Menakem, a healer, author, coach, and trauma specialist. His work feels fitting for the times we're in. In his writings, he discusses concepts of "clean pain" and "dirty pain," illuminating what happens when we experience discomfort—and how we move (or don't move) through it.
Clean pain is the discomfort we willingly face in service of growth and healing. It's the pain of confronting difficult truths, of stepping into challenging interactions and experiences with presence and purpose. Clean pain feels both grounded (“I’m firm in my resolve”) and uncomfortable (“I’m scared to act, but I can do it”), in ways that move us toward transformation.
Dirty pain, by contrast, is what we experience when we avoid necessary discomfort. It's the pain of deflection, denial, repression, and displacement (“It’ll go away on its own” or “Let’s change the subject”). When I stayed silent in that meeting, I was choosing dirty pain—avoiding the immediate discomfort of speaking up, but creating deeper harm through my silence.
The Complex Reality of Safety and Risk
The insight-action gap manifests differently depending on our positionality. The burden of addressing harmful narratives and injustice often falls disproportionately on those already navigating multiple layers of bias. For those who experience marginalization, speaking up often carries real risks to career, relationships, and belonging. It's not just about courage; it's about survival.
It's crucial to recognize that for those from marginalized communities, strategic silence can be a form of clean pain—a conscious, intentional choice to preserve energy for what matters more at the moment, to survive in hostile environments, or to redirect influence where it can have greater impact. The conscious decision not to speak in every instance can reflect wisdom rather than avoidance.
When I reflect on that team meeting, my hesitation stemmed from discomfort, not danger. My safety and survival were not at risk. I might have ruffled some feathers, but the consequences would have been manageable. For others in the room, the calculation was fundamentally different.
For some, silence is self-preservation in spaces where speaking truth carries real consequences. Yet this reality doesn't diminish the responsibility of those with institutional protection to step into discomfort. When those with social or positional power choose silence, the dirty pain we think we're dodging leaves a stain that doesn't just mark us—it becomes woven into the fabric of the system we inhabit.
THINK: The Clean Bridge Between Insight and Action
Understanding the distinction between clean and dirty pain helps us recognize what's happening in the insight-action gap. But how do we build the bridge from knowing to doing when we are in a position to speak up? How do we cultivate the capacity to choose clean pain over dirty pain, especially when considering different levels of risk?
To address this gap between insight and action, I came up with a reflective framework that I call THINK:
Topic: What specific topic needs addressing? In the team meeting scenario, the issue was deficit thinking about students from certain backgrounds and the lowered expectations that followed. Naming the precise concern helps clarify what's at stake.
Hotspots: Where is the heat or tension in this situation, and who might get burned? What is the heat I'm able to withstand? For those with marginalized identities, assessing whether this is a hotspot they can safely engage with becomes crucial. Sometimes the risk of getting burned is too great, while for those with privilege or positional power, these same hotspots might be uncomfortable but not dangerous.
Introspection: What emotions and beliefs are you bringing to this conversation? Beyond fear of tension, what else do we need to investigate? Introspection is necessary so that we create more space between our reactions and responses. We can determine how to move forward in a way that's appropriate for this situation.
Navigation: Navigation isn't just about what you say, but also how you create pathways through tension. This is as much about your way of being as it is what you say. What defenses need to get dropped? What stances (i.e. courage, compassion) do you need to embody? This also might mean asking a question instead of making a statement. It might mean finding places of alignment before moving into places of discord. Effective navigation means charting a course that, even in tension and discomfort and messiness, brings the group forward.
Key message: What do you want to say? What makes you want to say it? What are the consequences of not saying it? Your key message serves as both an anchor and a bridge, keeping you connected to your values while opening pathways for others to cross into new understanding.
What makes this framework actionable is that it moves us from paralysis to preparation. When we're caught in that moment between recognizing something harmful and choosing how to respond, THINK provides a structured pathway that honors both courage and context. It gives us permission to pause without defaulting to silence. By working through each element—from clarifying the core issue to crafting a key message—we transform vague discomfort into specific, intentional action.
This framework isn't about having the perfect response. It's about creating a pathway from insight to action that considers both personal courage and systemic realities, that gives you space to be intentional in the actions you take.
Creating Conditions for Collective Courage
If we want to bridge the insight-action gap, we also need to move from our individual reflections and actions to collective care. This means:
Building networks of solidarity where people commit to amplifying and supporting each other's voices. When one person speaks up, others visibly align with them.
Establishing clear agreements for how teams talk, so that addressing tensions doesn't depend on individual courage but becomes an expected practice.
Recognizing and honoring the wisdom of those who navigate these challenges daily. People who experience marginalization often develop sophisticated strategies for when and how to address harm—strategies that deserve respect for the wisdom they offer.
Creating space for multiple pathways to address harmful dynamics. Speaking up in the moment is one approach, but not the only one. Private conversations, revisiting agreements, bringing in community perspectives, and other methods can also bridge the insight-action gap.
Leadership Across the Bridge
Leadership in challenging moments isn't about perfection, it's about presence and practice—one small, brave step at a time.
In those spaces between recognition and response lies our moment of choice: clean pain or dirty pain. The discomfort of speaking up may sting for a moment, but the silent ache of complicity lingers far longer. Each time we choose the brave discomfort of truth over the crippling grip of fear and silence, we strengthen not just our own voices but the collective courage of our communities.
Here's to imagining what's possible when we offload the burden of dirty pain and invite the transformative clarity of clean pain, when our insights become actions that reimagine the collective.
